My pen is the barrel of the gun.

.....

2004-11-11T23:09:03Z

holy moly

2004-10-16T22:43:27Z

its been awhile.

i've missed everyone...?

yeah. soo. sarah and me got qualified for the tournament down in pearl river on wednesday at the league tournament. we were supposed to go down there on thursday. it rained and got postponed to yesterday. it rained yet again and is postponed till monday. weather forecast saysssss....rain on monday. i really don't even want to go anymore.

i took the PSATs this morning. i don't want to say anything about them and jinx it. i hate it when i'm like "that was mad easy" and then i fail. so i just won't say anything.

i miss the foursome. terrrrrrribly. no one in ketcham is quite as cool.

hmm. jarrod, andrea, and i went to the beautiful mistake, tokyo rose, asc, and juniper last weekend. i got hit on by some homeless guy who was wearing a yankees jacket. it was embarassing.

aaaand ilsa and urrica are coming so i'm out.

pe@ce.

:(

2004-09-26T19:50:49Z

i'm sick.

again.

let us try this for a change

2004-09-16T00:12:41Z

how about everyone stops talking about things that aren't any of their business?

yeah. grow up. really.

some things never change. some things stay the same.

2004-09-12T01:36:22Z

i hate school.

i need to find a better way of dealing with stress. like the FOURSOME. who i haven't seen since jade's partay. i'm losing my mind without the america, england, and france. WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO?!

i hate fake people. more than i hate anything else.

please, someone, anyone, make this year worth it. please.

i excercised way too much today.

2004-08-29T19:55:14Z

i have the bruises to show it.

diana and i went on a 3 mile bike ride. then did yoga for an hour and half an hour of pilates. then played tennis with anastasia, michelle, and asha for another 2 and a half hours. cuhrazay. my parents are finishing up painting my room AT THIS VERY MOMENT.

i am so not ready for summer to end. i just do not accept it. it can't. its been too good.

HAPPY 16TH BIRTHDAY BINATA!!!

aw. shes growing up so fast.

xxinreveriexx @ 2004-08-28T19:05:00

2004-08-28T23:07:28Z

maruna4: HEYY
maruna4: IAM DRESSED AS A FAT ASS RIGHT NOW

what the fuck.

2004-08-23T13:46:31Z

since when do i spend my nights at home watching reality tv instead of partying it up with my friends (particularly the foursome)? i hope everyone had fun without me.

i should be shot. no really, i'm that lame.

and i still have a fucking headache.

ha.

2004-08-19T19:16:59Z

our tennis team is such a joke. and my new racket came in yesterday. felicia is still totally my partner fo' lyfe. oh em gee.

felicia and i went to the mall yesterday. we listened to modest mouse in her car. we bought her a cd player for her car and some cds to play in it. we bought lindt chocolate truffles but not smoothies. and tennis clothes form dicks. tennis clothing is so goddamn expensive.

i really want some of this stuff.

this weekend looks like driving lesson, hospital, painting my room, binata's party, mae/hot rod circuit/waking ashland, and hopefully a crazy cultured foursome party. i miss jadey mcbritain. and i wish marie would feel better. it is worrying to see her so upset. summer is ending too soon.

aaand

...fade to black

woah there.

2004-08-17T03:16:30Z

i just got home from my michigan/illinois/michigan/nevada/arizona/utah/michigan/pennsylvania road/plane trip with the fam.

i can't wait for tennis to start.

i have to hand in my AP US History work in tomorrow. i still have 2 more chapters to do.

the Crazy Cultured Eraser Foursome needs to hang out again. ASAP.

i like the French but not more than the Greek. and i'm becoming rather found of the Turkish.

i miss working in the hospital.

i missed my cellphone having service in the southwest.

Las Vegas would be more fun if i was over 21.

i almost fell into the Grand Canyon.

i need a new violin teacher.

the Penn State Creamery has AMAZING ice cream.

Alias is a fucking amazing television show.

Fall Out Boy is so darn catchy.

Holy.Moly.Carly/Amanda.
we need to talk!! ASAP.

end.

wtf

2004-08-04T20:52:37Z

why does marie hate me?!

correction: she loves me :)

shut up sean!

xxinreveriexx @ 2004-08-02T15:13:00

2004-08-02T19:27:33Z

i had a better entry. livejournal deleted it.

maybe tomorrow.

I SUCK AT LIFE

2004-07-29T23:08:17Z

so today during my driving lesson. my driving instructor takes me on the newburgh/beacon bridge. when we come to the toll booth i forget to pull up close to the window and am like 10 feet out from the window. so he has to get out of the car and pay and then get back in. the guy in the toll booth was laughing at me. and making fun of me. at least i don't earn my living working in a fucking toll booth.

ohhh SNAP.

zero to hero.!

2004-07-29T00:47:58Z

i love my crazy cultured erasr foursome. they make life worth living. really. i got to jade's house and i thought i was the first one there but NO. hanna got there first. marie was LATE. but she brought presents, pictures, swedish fish, and a camera so we forgave her. jade's sister rachel made expired cookies. we walked to the library in the rain in crazy hats and got sing-a-longs. we ate cheese blitzkriegs frozen (or at least marie and bones did) and stale cheese doodles then watched the sing-a-longs. we went on marie's sn and IMed kevin brown, sean, and jevin from band camp and pretended to be marie. she kept freaking out about it. we had to tie her down. THATS HOT. jade's mom brought cinese food for dinner and we talked about my boobs during dinner. score.

today i volunteered at the hospital for the very first time! i photocopied a list of every physician in vassar brother's hospital's phone number. twice. score. then my mom and i went out to dinner to this middle eastern place by vassar college. i got a falafel wrap. SO GOOD! i talked to alison while i was waiting for my mom to pick me up from the hospital. i'm glad. i missed her a lot. she gets EVERYTHING. i think i'm going to buy a new tennis racket. i don't really need one but i've been demo-ing it and it makes me play better. and i like getting new things. materialistic items CAN make you HAPPY.

my road test is september 1, 2004. score.

i hate my life.

2004-07-26T19:41:14Z

no really, i do.

i'm never good enough for anyone/at anything.

how many times have i said "i give up"? and how many times do i keep trying to keep failing? at everything. i'm not even going to bother trying to give up because i can't even do that right. i guess i'm just that bad.

OH MY GAYYY

2004-07-25T22:14:35Z

my computer sucks. if i try to make a mix or use my scanner it freezes. um. somebody fix it please.

so i woke up this morning at like 10:30 and as soon as i getup my mom is like "your aunt and i are going to the mall. and you're coming. let's go." so i was thinking that no one would be at the mall that early so i just went in my pajamas and didn't do my hair or put on make up or anything. did i care? no. did i care when i found out sean finn worked at best buy? oh, you bet i did. my mom needed stuff in best buy, my aunt needed stuff from target, and i needed stuff from h&m. so we walk into the best buy entrance and my aunt and i leave best buy and sean is standing at the door looking sooo HOTT (with 2 t's) as usual and we leave and he goes "thanks for coming to best buy." and i just kinda stood there staring at him. and he laughed. then i come back to find my mom and he goes "welcome back. couldn't resist me huh?" and we both kinda just laughed. i was sooo embarassed. obviously the first time i talk to sean finn i'm in grungy shorts and an exeter shirt i had worn for like 2 days straight. my hair is in a rat's nest bun. and i had no make up on. gross. then i go to look at cds and he comes with me. and we talk about eighteen visions for a couple of minutes then he goes back to his post by the door. i wanted to die the entire time. he is so fucking gorgeous. i saw john stanton at the mall too. but i was just leaving and didn't say anything to him. whoops.

p.s. i babysat my little cousins yesterday and they scratched my fall out boy cd. um. ew.

<3

2004-07-24T00:37:10Z

awww carly <33

tell brian to watch the fuck out.

i kid. obviously.

...i keep losing track over again...

2004-07-20T22:42:55Z

Spiffykid88: we should like.. be fully recognized for our contributions to this world
Spiffykid88: it would be nowhere without us
Spiffykid88: i think my mom got donuts for dinner
Spiffykid88: wtf?
Spiffykid88: it was so weird
Spiffykid88: "marie... come eat"
Spiffykid88: and theres just donuts there
Spiffykid88: LIKE WTF

thats crazy.

i haven't won a match since they moved me into upper excellence. why do i suck so much? next week i'm back in lower. COOL. i wish i was good at something. like sensationally good. i wish there was just one thing i could do where everyone would look at me and go "wow".

i think i'm seeing saved! with jade, hanna, wesley, sean, and marie this weekend. and then marie and i have other plans. but they're a secret. i think.

xxinreveriexx @ 2004-07-16T17:15:00

2004-07-16T21:15:43Z

he hates me

hey kids

2004-07-14T23:35:22Z

i just drove.

xxinreveriexx @ 2004-07-11T22:16:00

2004-07-12T02:19:33Z

"a good canary" is one of the most amazing plays ever.

zach helm is one helluva playwright.

lucy liu is officially my favorite actress.

jarrod and me were gonna go to the anadivine/river city high show. but he had to work late so we saw the play at vassar that lucy liu was in. it was amazing. i was crying at the end. lucy liu did such a good job. wow. mad props to j-rod for thinking up the best idea in the world. we got like the last tickets off the waiting list. hah. oh man. it was SO GOOD.

haha and my dad confused jarrod with the auerbachs. hahahahahhaa

hey...

2004-07-02T18:36:31Z

i found out lucy lui is going to be in poughkeepsie all summer. because she is doing some play at vassar or something.

yup. thats all.

Just take it slow 'cause we got so far to go

2004-07-01T15:56:02Z

this entire week has been spent training in the hospital. my schedule is saying i'm volunteering there for 16 hours a week. thats crazy! i should've gotten an actual job...ya know where i'd have been actually payed. eh well. i met this girl diana there and we've been hanging out. and nina fu and sarah smith were there too. i thought i wouldn't have any friends. actually it seems like its going to be really cool. i might get to watch a surgery. and i think i'm working in the operating room (i'm just sterilizing stuff before the surgeons do their thing) and in pediatrics. i get to play with sick kids. working in the pediatric wing seems like it will be fun but kind of sad too. seeing all these little kids who are sick. :(

yeah i'm going to philly this weekend and next week i start tennis. i don't know anyone who is going next week except for cath.

you'd think i'd have a more exciting life.

but i don't. hah.

did anyone ever listen to the doors?

2004-06-28T21:01:44Z

because man oh man they are AMAZING.

t h e e n d

junior high

2004-06-26T03:56:51Z

steph and me just spent the last 45 minutes talking about junior high and the thigns we did and the people we were friends with.

everything is so different now.

part of me that wouldn't go back to the way things were if i got a chance, but what i wouldn't give for things to be so easy. junior high was just 2 years of inside jokes and funny memories. now things seem so complicated. and i've experienced things that i wish i never had to experience. i hate it.

i'm so confused all the time. i wish i knew how i felt. i wish i knew what i ~~wanted~~ needed to be that happy and carefree again.

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